It is a challenge I think, to find a friend who genuinely accepts the stories they know are hard for you to share, and without judgment or condescension. It is equally as difficult to discover the flaws and fissures of another, even more so to view them as endearing elements of what make that person real.
I've had many friendships in my life to date to which I look back and understand I wasn't giving the truth of my soul to- over-concerned by the prospect of being outcast, believing this could & likely would be the end of social happiness- the happiness I once felt came from normalcy- idiosyncrasies left unknown, cracks covered.
The funny thing is, when you are first growing into yourself there is nothing more frightening than being different. But then you've grown, and the terror lies most in that same conformity.
The thought of having to train the course of my actions around the words and thoughts of others is something I regretfully now feel too experienced to justify. I know better. This in no way means I'm successful at it- but I do try my best to let my soul be my guide.
I feel grateful for the lesson time is providing- I come to know myself better each day whilst dodging the bullets of life, and I feel smarter & stronger than I did a year ago because of it. I can't help but passionately wonder what lies ahead.
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