The Greatest

Marathon Sunday

4 people I know are running Marathons tomorrow!!! My mom, older sister and friend Justin are all attempting the Portland full, while my one and only Maggie is in the New York half! I could not be more proud of this accomplishment they've all worked for months to experience.

At the start of August, myself, my mom (in training for the full), younger sister & our friend all ran a half in Oxnard, CA. Before this, I'd never come even close to running the distance we accomplished that day- 13.1. In fact, the furthest I'd ever run was 5 miles, many years before.

Once committed, I immediately regretted my decision. How was I, the non-runner, the person who hadn't seen the likes of a treadmill, much less the pavement in months, going to live to see just over 13 miles fly by? I truly didn't believe it could be done.

But then- you go one mile further than you've ever gone before- and it shocks you so intensely- into this world where limits are for the weak, and checking off that next mile consumes your thoughts. This is what was most fulfilling for me- each week, with each mile, I'd accomplished something I'd never thought I would and didn't think I could. Each week having done something I'd never been able to do before- simply amazed the last hour provided me with such an apparently simple reward- brand new, big time accomplishment.

Although it is not my older sister's first full marathon, it's a new experience for the rest of the gang (and if I recall correctly...my sister wasn't too keen on ever repeating the experience fresh from last year's finish line- but here she is!)

Congrats and good luck to each- no matter the outcome!

For the Love of Fall

I find myself at a lack for words today- or desire perhaps- so I decided to share with you some of my very favoritest fall images :) Enjoy

Oh to Grow

It is a challenge I think, to find a friend who genuinely accepts the stories they know are hard for you to share, and without judgment or condescension. It is equally as difficult to discover the flaws and fissures of another, even more so to view them as endearing elements of what make that person real.

I've had many friendships in my life to date to which I look back and understand I wasn't giving the truth of my soul to- over-concerned by the prospect of being outcast, believing this could & likely would be the end of social happiness- the happiness I once felt came from normalcy- idiosyncrasies left unknown, cracks covered.

The funny thing is, when you are first growing into yourself there is nothing more frightening than being different. But then you've grown, and the terror lies most in that same conformity.

The thought of having to train the course of my actions around the words and thoughts of others is something I regretfully now feel too experienced to justify. I know better. This in no way means I'm successful at it- but I do try my best to let my soul be my guide.

I feel grateful for the lesson time is providing- I come to know myself better each day whilst dodging the bullets of life, and I feel smarter & stronger than I did a year ago because of it. I can't help but passionately wonder what lies ahead.

Make Them Count

1955-2011

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.

Everything else is secondary."

Steve Jobs

There's nothing fair about dying- nothing can be done to prevent it, nobody has managed to escape it, nothing helps fill the void it leaves behind, it is a true emptiness.

Even the passing of those I don't know personally still manages to emotionally affect me. Steve Jobs' losing his fight to cancer caused these thoughts today. He mustered the bravery and confidence to set a precedence for technology as a whole. He pioneered and revolutionized how we listen to music, how we interact with media, and each other on a constant basis. It feels unfair to lose someone so valuable, so brilliant and so bright, so young. Steve was 56.

We can only learn from the lesson his death provides- to value every day we have, because no matter your circumstance, the fact is, each one that comes is a gift, not an expectation.

Make them count.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

From the Rubble

There's something so inviting and terrifying about the blankness of a page. Too white, too empty, desperately aching for it's first tattoo.

Although people are often kind enough to compliment my writing, seldom do they ask the question I'd think they'd most like to know- why? Why do I write- if not as I do, simply at all? Many don't feel any pull towards placing themselves on a page. Maybe I wonder because this is the one-word serpent tongued question I find lashing out inside me throughout each and every day- Why? Why would she say that? Why did I forget that? Why did I take this way home?? I guess I can't help it, I'm curiously crazy.

It might seem a funny question to some, but why is most of what the experience is for me- It takes me to a place not even I understand- I feel transported to a limitless land where expectation can't survive. Where possibility's in my hands- a series undiscovered lying within, ready to pounce free. Actions can't be re-acted, but words can be re-written.

Do you ever stop to think- 26 versions of small lines, miniature symbols, each with their own rule and concept- together forming a tool which enables understanding, to communicate our inherent- what a gift we take for granted, no?

For me, that's the magic- that this gift we've been bestowed to aid in our smooth function in society, which has in turn laid a communicative foundation for the whole of the human routine-provides individuals the constant ability to create anew, glueing masterpieces from the rubble.

This is how I quite literally imagine writing- I see the sentence in my head, floating, ready for deletion & completion- the re-arranging of what's been done too many times in the past to count, but in a way recognizable, all my own, and best yet- worthy of a breath of praise.

Culinary Escapist

Today my mind remains trapped in the kitchen. With potentially delicious treat recipes popping in and out at whim, uncontrollably infusing my thoughts with daydreams of spicy chutneys & savory jams, vegetable spreads & fruity dips, rich ganache and a medley of tasty toppings- all tumbling together in my head, their untapped potential pounding loud enough to silence my desire to tackle any actual responsibility the day demands.

Don't worry, I plan on sharing some upchucked form of my afternoon spent dreamily in the land of unprecedented culinary creation, trudging through deliciously unclaimed territories.

I've always found being in the kitchen to be therapeutic. Who knows its secret to dragging me from the dungeon, but once called upon, I fall instantly into a familiar rhythm, spinning wheels in operation of a task accomplished so many times before. My excitement is surreally stemmed from a passion for a fond culinary contradiction- the ease of a hand onto ridges of a wooden spoon crafted gently by turn upon past gentle turn- all the while a Red Velvet masterpiece from this month's pool of blog to-try's and forget-me-nots cooling on the counter.

The kitchen is where old meets new- where tradition meets unconvention, where ease and challenge coincide. An old song with new notes, a fresh-faced platform for a meal your kitchen's been privy to only whispers of before now. That's what it's about. It's new every time, and you only get better- if you want to that is.

Without the basics, you cannot build. Do you step into the kitchen for the first time with Julia Child-esque expectation? No you do not (or you should not at least...) Because whether it's to feel confident voicing your own praise or in expectation of other's, in order to climb, you must first step onto the ladder. Or in this case...tie on the apron :)

New Additions to The Kitch

THIS IS MY NEW APRON!!! It was gift card paid for, which is just a double present in itself if you ask me. Today was the start of an ongoing project I'm working on in the kitchen, and there was nothing like falling in love with an apron and discovering it was cheap! It fits wonderfully, with all the right nooks in all the right crannies- and it made my day today- along with a boatload of other goodies I picked up at Crate & Barrel.

It's funny how little things like this can brighten your day. To me, an apron pulls on the memory-strings of growning up & learning how to cook in my Dad's kitchen. His style was his own, complete always, with a glass of wine, and and apron. And I now know it should always be so. Wearing an apron, I catch myself feeling instantly more domestic, with thoughts of pie crusts cooling in the window and the waft of chicken dinners agog in my head.

So when I saw this fall-inspired essential I knew it was the beginning of great things ahead in my little kitchen. I can't wait to see what I can create in this adorable new addition to my home.

The other new purchase I couldn't be more excited about is the amazing soup & sandwich saucer below. On sale- this was just fun enough to be a gift-card approved buy. The bowl is just perfect for morning oatmeal & yogurt parfaits paired with toast, or coffee & tea with a pastry, or my favorite- warm soup & grilled cheese. I can't wait to dress up these porcelain beauties this holiday season.

The October Challenge

I've made a pledge to post every day of October, and today is numero uno!

I sit writing in sunlight graciously occupying a patch of my bedroom carpet. Saturday. What a wonderful day- energized at the thought of the weekend's arrival, grateful for the knowledge the day which follows will allow you the same open platform for planning and doing as opposed to the routine of work's demand.

I love Fall. Autumn. Pumpkins and patches, orange, red, auburn & gold, all reminders of the seasonal change in our midst. The time for cozying up to a fire is nearly here....or is it?

It's been a funny moving to sun shiny Los Angeles from rainy, seasonally loyal Portland for this reason. Although you get the sun you truly never see up North, that nip is lacking. The windy chill, the smell of fresh rain, the shake off of that expected downpour which still caught you off guard. The necessity of an umbrella is replaced with sunglasses, and the jackets which wrapped you daily hang loveless in the back of the closet.

As of now, I wouldn't trade it. But who knows, that ache for the seasons apparent might change, and just maybe I'll come to find myself in need of a Portland puddle so great, I won't have the strength to deny it. We'll see.